A Day at the Zoo

Once upon a time, there was a hippolotafus. Her name was Pangarelle, and when she looked in the mirror, she loved what she saw. Every morning Pangarelle would leap out of bed, pirouette toward the full-length mirror hanging on the wall opposite her bed, and twirl before the mirror, fluttering her eyelashes at the beautiful creature she saw before her. Long, shapely feet (that were nearly as wide again,) knees that were perfectly angled and planed (they had four of each apiece,) a great, bushy tail (that was always perfectly coiffed,) matronly hips (usually draped in pleasingly maidenly taffeta,) a teensy (weensy) waist, and sugar-coated shoulders (delicious!) would greet her face (which was, incidentally, her favorite feature of them all.)

Although she knew herself to be a natural beauty, Pangarelle never left the house without dressing to perfection. Sparkling shoes, colorful dresses, and feathered hats were all staples of her wardrobe, and her wardrobe was made mainly out of staples. Pangarelle felt it was best to have many classically en-sparkled elements that she could combine in an infinite variety of innovative and ever-sparklier ways. The best way to accomplish this seemed to be through the use of staples. Many a time she had seen drag queens on television piece together an outfit with glue guns, but she felt this method somewhat lacking—mostly in the efficiency and spontaneity department. Glue-gunning required a certain level of pre-planning that she found terribly limiting, whereas a good stapler allowed one to fly by the seat of one’s custom-sized and appropriately-festooned pants.

As she clih-fwumphed the last detail of her toilette into place, Pangarelle thought with excitement of where she’d be going today. After two weeks of eager anticipation, today was the day that Pangarelle would go on her first blind date – a blind date to the people zoo, no less! Despite her sparkle and beauty, Pangarelle had been in a bit of a romantic slump since moving to Planet Gogs for her new job, but a co-worker of hers at the fish hatchery had told mentioned a few weeks ago that she knew the perfect guy – Gorfalump, a Gogs native, who could show Pangarelle the sights. After a few awkward phone calls, they had selected the people zoo as their first date, and the date had finally arrived. Pangarelle was breathless with excitement. She giggled to herself as she shimmied out the door and down to the skytrams.

Sashaying generously out of the skytram, Pangarelle swept her eyes hungrily over the crowd before her. Small smigmots scurried around and through the feet of the crowd with balloons and flerbitz crumbs streaming and scattering (respectively, of course,) behind them. The sky was a brilliant violet, and the air smelled sharply of the cheese wallows from which the zoo people fed themselves. So exotic! She could hear their football rituals from here! The people zoo really and truly was the best idea for her first date with Gorfalump; she was glad she’d thought of it (as, indeed, was true of all of the best ideas.) She had come up with a marvelous idea, and now all that remained was to spot Gorfalump himself.

Pangarelle crossed the street toward the entrance of the people zoo, nervously scanning the crowd for Gorfalump. Pangarelle had never seen Gorfalump, but her friend Terry at the fish hatchery had given her a detailed description. She went over the list in her head: tall and thin, with white fur and blue spots, thick arms from his job on the tiknek farm, and long green talons. Finally she spotted someone who matched the description and her heart fluttered at what she saw: he was wearing a gray three-piece suit, with a bow-tie and wing tips! Pangarelle felt weak in the knees.

She prancy-toed delicately up to the fashionably dressed Gogman and simpered, “Why, you must be Gorfalump! I’m Pangarelle, and I’m certain it’s just sporfanunculating to meet you!”

“Well, my name’s not Gorfalump, but sporfanunculating definitely doesn’t begin to cover it. I am Heftus, and who might you be, my enchanting young lady?”

With a thrill in her heart and a song in her spine she replied, “The name’s Pangarelle. What brings a snappy Gogman like you to the people zoo today?”

“Ah, my lady, I’ve come to gather inspiration for my Look for the upcoming week. One mustn’t leave such things too much to chance, you know.”

“Of course there must be room for on-the-spot inspiration as well.”

“Absolutely! Couldn’t agree more! And I dare not disagree with such a well-put-together young lady!” Heftus cocked a dashing eyebrow at our young heroine as he asked, “Would you care to join me in an afternoon of wild people-watching in the name of fashion?”

Pangarelle’s heaving bosom swooned mightily at the timbre of his gurgflox. What to do?

She eyed the crowd one more time, wanting to give Gorfalump a fair chance to appear. There was not another Gogman visible in the crowd, and Heftus was so charming. Pangarelle looked over and caught him straightening his suit jacket.

“Of course,” Pangarelle finally answered in a low, breathy voice. “It would be my pleasure to accompany you through the people zoo.”

Heftus beamed at her response, and offered an arm. Pangarelle smiled in return, and placed her hand in the crook of his arm. Together they strolled into the people zoo.

Their first stop was Supermarket exhibit. The largest exhibit of the zoo, the Supermarket exhibit was located near the entrance, and was a favorite of Gogs and Non-Gogs alike. Pangarelle stood on tiptoe in front of the wide expanse of glass to watch the people shuffling up and down the aisles, pushing wheeled baskets while they selected and gathered their food.

As they watched the people go by with their absurd baskets, Pangarelle thought to herself that Heftus must be a true visionary to gain inspiration from such savage creatures. The dainty hippolotafus found herself wondering just what this fellow might be thinking of her when she happened to glance at him and caught him gazing at her as well. The two of them blushed a deep chartreuse and let their gazes and conversation drop a bit.

The two strolled through the people zoo together, making their way from one outrageous display of human inefficiency to the next, often bringing their heads together and enjoying a conspiratorial whisper together. As they approached the end of the people zoo, Pangarelle found herself wondering just how this little surprise meeting would end and, of course, asking herself the eternal question, “Had this been a date?”

"Well, I don't know about you," said Heftus, "but I feel inspired! It was lovely meeting you, but I must go home and work on my wardobe! Perhaps I will dabble in a bit of design while I'm at it!"

Heftus seemed quite please with himself, but Pangarelle felt only confusion. The butterflies in her stomach, the racing heart, the sudden waves of warmth coursing through her body -- had he felt any of that?

Heftus turned to leave. "Wait," said Pangarelle, catching his sleeve. "I too was inspired! The drabness of their clothes reflecting the drabness of their lives. Why, the relationship between clothing and life has never been more evident to me! Perhaps...we could do this again?"

Heftus beamed, gazing at Pangarelle as if she were a work of art...or perhaps a mirror, as Heftus admired no one the way he admired himself. He liked the self he saw reflected in Pangarelle at that moment.